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Joke of the Day

"Q: What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years? A: Unite the Republican Party."

"What job do you never stop training for? Conductor"

"My daughters weren't paying attention to me, so I told them Taylor Swift died."

"You may think it's a good idea to go to weight watchers to meet women... but actually the ones there are quite hard to pick up."

"What if earth rotates 30 times faster? Interviewer:""If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?"" engineer:""We will get our salary everyday"" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently"

"What's the difference between a Transformer robot and a Transgender person? One is living in a spaceship and one is living a lie."

"BIDEN: I'mma punch him when he comes here. OBAMA: No, Joe. Don't do that. BIDEN: Punch him round the back. OBAMA: Joe. BIDEN: Kick, then."

"Where does a snowman keep his money? In the snowbank. I'll see myself out.."

"Signs a Woman Likes You: 1. Eye contact 2. Twirls her hair 3. Laughs at your jokes 4. Follows you 5. Keys your car 6. Kills you"

"Did you take a shower today? Why, is one missing?"