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Joke of the Day

"[3 guys corner me in an alley] 3G: Bet you're scared Me: *shows them my wife's credit card bills* 3G: *hand over their wallets* holy shit"

"What was the Neo Nazi's favorite computer game? Mein Kraft"

"What's a gay couples least favorite fruit? Cantaloupe."

"What do lawyers and sperm have in common? One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming human."

"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice and line the edge with peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"I'm white, but not like ""has a golden retriever named Chance"" white."

"My first time having sex was like my first time riding a bike .. my dad was holding me from behind .."

"Why is the word ""clit"" so fun to say? It just rolls off the tongue."

"What's black and white all over and difficult? An exam paper!"

"Just heard this one at the pub: What do you call a monkey with a suicide vest? Ba***boom!*** ^(Don't worry, I kicked him out the door.)"