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Joke of the Day

"When I was in college I had all these philosophical questions. Now I just want to know how these kids got toothpaste under the toilet seat."

"When your parents get old, you take care of them the way they took care of you when you were young. Which is why I gave my kids heroin."

"Apparently there is a bipartisan push in the US senate to legalize marijuana for arthritis treatment So in other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support."

"""Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?"" ""Church?"" ""K let's make 'em like that"" -- funeral home designers"

"Why are math books useless? Because they are full of problems."

"As an African-American, Iam shocked at how many black holidays we have here. We have Black Friday, Black history month, whenever a Tyler Perry movie comes out, etc"

"What's a white supremacist's favorite cereal? Special KKK."

"Went to the zoo and all they had was one dog. It was a Shih Tzu."

"5-year-old: Dad, can you make the rain go away? Me: Someone more powerful than me controls the weather. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Mom?"

"What do you call a prostitute that does both men and women? An omniwhore"