119481
Joke of the Day
"Why did the fencer downvote my latest submission? It was a Riposte."
Next Joke
"""Okay--don't get cancer."" (My response to ""Have a safe flight."")"
"My sex life"
"Most Fascinating Part of the Body I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized ""pssssh, look what's telling me that"""
"Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death."
"I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral."
"Dentist sign reads ""KGB Dentistry"" The sign continued, ""We are Putin in your filling."""
"You had me at ""we've got the place surrounded"""
"Facebook would be way cooler if it was on TV. : ""In other news Brian's ex-girlfriend is still a cold, heartless b!tch. Details at 11""."
"I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one"