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Joke of the Day

"My kid missed the school bus, instantly resulting in drama & tears. But now that I've had a few cocktails, I'm OK."

"My dentist is going to be so proud of me! I've been brushing my teeth like ten times a day since I started using Betty Crocker toothpaste."

"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud.. But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them."

"Have you heard about the new club with the gloryholes? It's just a little hole in the wall."

"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None... he fell."

"How does an Alabama girl know she's in for a crazy night? Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten."

"I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you."

"Do the the fatty acids get picked on by the other acids?"

"My wife is like a plunger She's good at bringing up old shit."

"My friend is scared of the homeless people he sees on the streets. I told him to stop being hobophobic."