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Joke of the Day

"If theres an otter, youre underwater. If a ferret you see, then on land you be."

"Sometimes you check the amount of subscribed people. When you do this, there are 4,111,093,0003.666 ""humorists"". 2/3rds of a person? Really?"

"Dogs are tough. I've been interrogating this one for hours and he still won't tell me who is a good boy."

"What's the difference between an illegal Mexican and ET? ET looked better, smelled better, learned English, didn't claim benefits, had his own fucking bike, and wanted to go home!"

"Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""

"Q: What did the blonde say when her doctor told her that she was pregnant? A: ""Is it mine?"""

"What's long, hard and has cum in it? A cucumber"

"Did Donald Trump make the right choice when picking his running mate? It de-Pence on who you ask."

"""Beep."" Zebra walking past a self service checkout."

"In Transylvania, it's your Count that votes."