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Joke of the Day

"Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever? Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to ""1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"""

"What did the french fry say to the police officer? Help me! I've been a-salted!"

"What is 50 Cent's guiding philosophy? Be the change you want to see in the world."

"What do fishermen do at a their conferences? Network."

"On the tombstones of Buddhists, it's always 'RIP'. I always thought it was 'BRB'"

"A pirate walks into a bar... And orders a bottle of rum. The bar tender says that will be 10 dollars. The pirate replies, ""Do you accept Barrrr Nickels???"""

"Hunters Two hunters are in the woods. One passes out, so the other calls 911. ""How may we assist you?"" ""I think my friend is dead."" ""Make sure he's dead."" *Bang* ""Done."""

"*smudges lipstick* *smears eyeliner* *gets mascara on earlobe* *never tries make-up sex again*"

"Promised myself that today I wouldn't steal anything, kill anyone or use any Meatloaf song lyrics in a sentence & two out of three ain't bad"

"I like my coffee how I like my women... Cold and bitter"