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Joke of the Day

"Today I saw two little kids fighting. As the only adult nearby, I had to step in. Those kids didn't stand a chance."

"Roses are red violets are blue celery is green bees are black and yellow please help me I can't stop pumpkins are orange satan is vermillion"

"What's often on the end of a man's genitals? His hand."

"Why did Hugh Glass go to the doctor? Because he felt grizzly after months of unbearable pain."

"Bad Luck Lincoln: Comes back from the dead, faces his fear by seeing a concert In Paris"

"A pedophile, a rapist, and a priest walks into a bar He orders a drink."

"I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy ...and my face smashes right into the mirror."

"First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."

"2 lepers playing poker... 1 throws his hand in, the other laughs his head off."

"I bet Abraham Lincoln would rather go watch another play than watch this debate."