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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I have dandruff and out of shape. My girlfriend broke up with me because I have dandruff and I'm out of shape. I guess I need some conditioning."

"To all you ladder manufacturers, I got something to tell you. Step it up!"

"Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor."

"Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film."

"I'm not paranoid, but I feel like there's someone reading this..."

"Are the readers of this subreddit mostly men? Who else would consider a couple inches of text to be long?"

"What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing about twenty-eight year olds? There's 20 of them."

"What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, it was the selfish Rooster that came first and the Hen never even finished."

"Why do they call me an oven? Because when I get turned on things get really hot"

"How do you give a hill billy a circumcision? You kick his sister in the jaw."