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Joke of the Day

"Turns out cops get really pissed if you slip out of your handcuffs even if you say ""Ta-Da"" when you do."

"Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage."

"Want to know if your wife loves you as much as your dog? Lock them both in a trunk of a car and see who's happy to see you when you open it to let them out"

"Boss: Why are you late? Me: Why are you so obsessed with me?"

"What did one Jew say to the other Jew? Is it just me, or is this room getting really hot??"

"What's white and red, 3 inches long, and makes dudes scream and run away when you show it to them? A positive pregnancy test."

"What does an Italian sound like walking through the rain? Dago wop wop wop"

"I once played the back end of a wasp in a pantomime play. But I thought I was the bees' knees..."

"An owl decided to make romantic advances towards another owl. To wit, to woo."

"I was disappointed after I won the grand prize on the game show last night. It was for a year supply of calendars."