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Joke of the Day

"Why did the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry!"

"So there are the baby boomers, generation x, and millenials. What do we call the next generation? Fucked."

"[on the phone] wife: My mom tripped over the dog me: Is she ok? wife: Yeah me: Can I talk to her? wife: Sure *calls for the dog*"

"TGIF - A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside ..."

"Turns out the most difficult stain to remove from bed linens is actually shame."

"Today your brother-in-law will announce his plan to defeat ISIS. Happy Thanksgiving."

"Some people were offended by Trump's remark that Hillary Clinton was ""schlonged"" by Obama during the 2008 Democratic primary! No this is the Donald's normal everyday shtump speech!"

"My girlfriend wanted to have sex in the back seat of my car And she wanted me to drive."

"Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces."

"A seal walks in to a club... haha"