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Joke of the Day

"sir i need to confiscate all the ice cream in your store yes this is just a costume & i'm not a real cop but no one told me i'm pretty today"

"Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup? Because one more would have been too farty."

"Why did the inventor of panadol think I had no parents? I said I'm an orphan."

"I ordered a red ottoman online yesterday and now all my self-aware sidebar ads are a never-ending David Lynch fever dream of red ottomans."

"What did the Mexican fire chief name his two sons? Hose a and hose b"

"Why are girls bad at maths? They can't even."

"The neighbors are still looking for their dog. That shit was good"

"How do you make a cat go woof? You pour some gasoline and toss a match and WOOF!"

"Did you hear about the new show about a camel on a cow ranch? It's been called a dairy drama about a dromedary."

"10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding."