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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why are elephants gray? A: So you don't get them confused with blueberries."

"Longest English word: 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi' Longest Spanish word: 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL'"

"I'm not saying she's easy, but if she advertised on TV, they'd call it a nymphomercial."

"Why are lawyers always buried 15 feet deep? Because deep down they're good people."

"Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling."

"When I think about it, Gaston really was a peaceable chap... It's a shame. He was a shoe in for the No-Belle prize."

"What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100? I'd say it's fifty fifty"

"What does the Native American say to the male prostitute? Do I have permission Tecumseh?"

"Daughter just told me, ""Dad, I don't make sandwiches, I eat sandwiches."" One day her picture will be on money."

"No Cash, No Hope and No Jobs! 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!"