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Joke of the Day
"Tell me, ""everything happens for a reason"" so I know you're an idiot."
Next Joke
"What do you call a banana you want tomorrow in spanish? Banana"
"A vegan in the woods. If a vegan is alone in the woods with nobody to tell, are they still a vegan?"
"I asked my waiter how long my pizza would be... his reply was, not very long."
"What is the definition of a farmer!? Someone who is out-standing in his field!"
"Got a couple of real nice piles of dog shit on your lawn there. Sure would be a shame if something was to... you know, ""happen"" to them."
"Why did the black guy cross the road? He heard there was chicken on the other side!"
"A morning text from me doesn't mean ""good morning"". It means ""I'm having very dirty thoughts about you right now""."
"I only eat beef raised on marijuana... I like it when the steaks are high."
"Why was ""what is love"" played at a funeral? Because he had a will, and he haddaway."