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Joke of the Day

"When googling Gary Oldman I highly suggest not forgetting the ""R"""

"[outside eden] Adam: This isnt so bad Eve: Yea Adam: [mosquito lands on arm] Wtf is this [5 min later] Adam: [banging on gates] WE'RE SORRY"

"How to begin a TIFU post This wasn't today..."

"Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution."

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

"Where's the best place to hide a body in texas? Oops. Wrong subreddit!"

"The discharge paperwork at the hospital seems to be expedited a little quicker if you roam up and down the hall with the back of your hospital gown untied."

"I hate how sometimes I let my guard down and then all my inmates get away."

"How come I didn't get upset when the Indian restaurant got my order wrong? It was a Naan issue"

"What comes after a farting competition? Farty!"