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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about Stevie Wonder? Neither did he"

"Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with ""I"". Paul: I is the... Teacher: No, Paul . You must say ""I am"" not ""I is."" Paul: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

"""If only she had a more expensive purse, THEN she'd be hot."" - no guy ever"

"If there's Jenny and Lucy, could there be Jenni and Luci? Then wouldn't that make them Jennifer and Lucifer?"

"Where did vampires go to first in America? New-fang-land."

"Father's Day is the day my wife gets on all fours and lets me do ANYTHING I want to her. I usually lay back and use her as an ottoman."

"Apparently women prefer men who are taller than them. So I guess it could be said that tall women have higher standards."

"I'd follow humor pages on facebook but most of the time I see a joke, I've already reddit before"

"What are Benedict Cumberbatch's fans called? Cumberbitches."

"How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby... I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep."