117759

Joke of the Day

"Why should you never bet on Germany at the Olympics? They have the worst track record for finishing a race."

"[i start thinking about an imminent problem] Hmm this is unpleasant. I better address this situation by not thinking about it anymore"

"A poor old man got hit by a car today. I say poor because he only had 90 cents in his wallet."

"Went out for a few drinks with some hedgehogs last night... I got spiked"

"I'm in the terminator musical. I'll be Bach."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? ""How do you breathe through that thing?"""

"What does my girlfriend and Windows 8 have in common? they are both 8........"

"Sometimes I want to ask certain people, ""So you looked in the mirror and thought you looked good enough to go outside?"""

"With Murray testing free agency maybe the cowboys should pick up both Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson on the cheap! They would be a good one two punch!"

"How do electricians meditate? Ohmmmm, Ohmmmm"