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Joke of the Day
"For some reason I'm an extremely secretive person. Don't ask me why"
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"""DIDN'T THE KIDS JUST HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL LAST MONTH!?!"" ~A parent's memoir."
"So a blind girl was giving me a hand job last night... She said I was the biggest she's ever felt, I said ""Nah girl, you're just pulling my leg."""
"If r/jokes was a person, what organ would he be having problems with? De-liver"
"A screwdriver walks into a bar... The Bartender says, ""Hey! We have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver says, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""
"What type of car did Yoda eat? A BMW i8"
"Who won the 1940 Tour De France? The 7th Panzer division"
"ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth"
"Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning? Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon."
"What do you call a crushed angle? A RECTANGLE !"