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Joke of the Day
"I've been on a diet for a month and I've lost exactly 4 weeks."
Next Joke
"Float like a jellyfish, sting like a jellyfish."
"I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps."
"Sometimes I leave a trail of pizza crumbs around the house so I can find my way back to the TV"
"What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf? A creature that sucks blood from your knees."
"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Clearly the chicken. How would an egg orgasm?"
"Why can't Caitlyn Jenner's kids ever find their mom? Because she is Trans-parent! (Not hate. Just a pun I thought of.)"
"Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."
"Why should you never shout at a pirate? Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)"
"What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet? Swiping and wiping."