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Joke of the Day

"How do you make four gay people happy? You flip over a stool."

"Why does Heisenberg hate driving? He gets lost every time he checks the speedometer."

"How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them."

"My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving! This is a new low..."

"Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen."

"I smelled alcohol and got all excited then realized it was only hand sanitizer."

"There's way too much nudity on TV programs these days... I just sit there shaking my fist at them."

"I peed in an ocean, but I'm not going to tell you which one - you're going to have to take your chances."

"Have you heard about the drought in Yemen? The UN is giving out a lot of Yemen aid."

"What looks like grass but is red? grass, i lied about the red part"