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Joke of the Day

"""I think Esmerelda's in trouble!"" ""What makes you so sure, Quasimodo?"" ""I have a..."" ... *sunglasses* ... *turns to camera* ... hunch."""

"Linda, this is embarrassing, but when I sent that email that you were poetry in motion I meant to type pottery. You look like a jug."

"Why do new Irish mothers keep dying? Because they lack taters"

"Her: Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with? Me: One who knows how to fix elevators."

"There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just beat the room for being black"

"Owls would be so much cooler if they could also say 'are you'"

"Being Bipolar sucks... I love it"

"Did you guys hear about that guy that was stealing everyone's power? He's a real Joule thief."

"What is a grasshopper? An insect on a pogo stick."