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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Fleetwood Mac shave? Because Stevie Nicks."
Next Joke
"Whats the similarity between Monkey in the Middle and Football? Both of the groups that are concered about the health of someone playing both begin with the letter P."
"Q: What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn? A: Get off."
"Build-A-Bear won't let you stuff your animal with asbestos or bees so what's the point"
"My doctor said that she thinks I have irritable bowel syndrome. I'm not surprised, I irritate everyone else so it makes sense that my bowels would be sick of my shit."
"I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today... He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the fucker over."
"How do you find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow? You look for the fresh prints."
"All the toilets have been stolen from Scotland Yard The police have nothing to go on"
"Why are ska bands so clean? They always pick it up pick it up pick it up."
"[sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*"