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Joke of the Day
"my New Years resolution is to stop making stupid New Years resolutions. I failed."
Next Joke
"What ship will never set sail for OP?"
"Yo momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease."
"What do you call a smug prisoner walking down stairs? A condescending con descending"
"How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world? All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it."
"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral."
"My exes broke up with me because I'm a pot lover. I guess you can say they don't have high standards."
"What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate? No, a fence."
"Where do mice park their boats? At the Hickory Dickory Dock!"
"MORON Q: Why did the moron throw the butter out the window? A: He wanted to see a butterfly."