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Joke of the Day

"I let an AT&T Customer Service Representative call me Brenda for a half hour because I was too embarrassed to correct him"

"Yeah yeah ""Friends with Benefits"" are cool but have you tried ""Friends with Batteries""? Less drama!"

"My girlfriend doesn't believe in sex before marriage. So I showed .... My girlfriend doesn't believe in sex before marriage. So I showed her some of my old home movies to prove it was real."

"[writing own obituary before going to the zoo just in case] ""his hatred of lions was well known and dreamt of fighting one two of them"""

"""Push harder"" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor... ""Screw you"" she screamed back at me. Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!"

"Got so high last night we searched for my friend for half an hour while he helped us look"

"The stock broker said to his mistress I'm going to put everything I've got into rubber, and if it comes off I'll marry you."

"Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo? It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree."

"Why do so many people in the South get married? Free shotgun"

"A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."