58945

Joke of the Day

"A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."

"Battlefield calls 911 Battlefield: Hi I'd like to turn myself in for a murder 911: Who's the victim? Battlefield: Call of Duty"

"Does anyone else believe in solipsism or is it just me?"

"Somebody called me pretentious today... I almost choked on my chai latte."

"What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream."

"I fucked a sarcastic girl. She loved it."

"What' the difference between Adolf Hitler and Lance Armstrong? Lance Armstrong can finish a race!"

"I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font."

"What Happened to the Man who Threw a Flaming Bag of Poo? He got turd degree burns."

"You're supposed to exercise so that you can live longer but if you have to exercise all the time do you really want to live longer?"