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Joke of the Day

"I went to a seafood disco last week I ended up pulling a mussel."

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? [x-post from r/bicycling] Attire"

"What's the difference between a brick and an MRA? Bricks get laid."

"Longest English word: 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi' Longest Spanish word: 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL'"

"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats. Edit: Omg guys! I didn't expect this to take off this much, thanks guys!"

"I got mugged yesterday... The mugger said, ""Give me your money or you're science."" I said, ""Don't you mean history?"" He said, ""Don't try and change the subject."""

"I usually do not show favoritism... I usually do not show favoritism between my two daughters, but only one of them does anal."

"Between men and women... There's a vas deferens."

"I liked The Hobbit books, but Harry Potter? That's a different story..."

"Staying at a hotel tonight which means I get to play everyone's favorite game: Are you smarter than a new shower?"