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Joke of the Day

"4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish."

"What is a terrorist his favourite car? A Citroen C4"

"How do you ruin a date with Princess Leia? By saying Alderaan things."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman whom you won't let see a picture of her you just took."

"Why does 8 hate 7? Because 7 8 9"

"Did you hear about the German doing an impression at the talent show? He did the wurst."

"A duck walks into a store and says, ""Give me some fucking Chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Alright, settle down you feathered cunt... How are you going to pay for that?"" ""Oh, just put it on my bill."""

"if your newborn baby has a full head of hair that means it is a business baby and is ready to enter the world of finance"

"""It's so funny running into you like this."" -Guy who just crashed his car into yours in a hilarious way"

"When I heard they had found the cure for dyslexia.. It was like music to my arse"