116748

Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes? You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/"

"I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems"

"I fell bottom-first on to a window today. It was a pane in the arse."

"What do you call a half-white and half-Hispanic baby? A baby."

"A cat got run over A little boy told his teacher that his cat got run over its ass and the teacher said its thats terrible but its called a rectum. the boy said: rectum? it near killed him."

"What do you call a strong woman with a successful career and family life? A human being you fucking sexist."

"Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your dog dance with you on it's hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself that they're enjoying it too."

"Why did Robert Oppenheimer's wife go to the beach naked? There was no bikini atoll"

"Q: What do you call a running chicken? A: Poultry in motion."

"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? **Juan on Juan.**"