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Joke of the Day

"What did the chicken say ? What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it."

"What do you get when you hold two green balls tightly in your hand? A leprachaun's undivided attention."

"Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep. "

"What do Jews throw when they riot? Mozeltov Cocktails"

"I got fired from my job at the restaurant for putting a load in the dishwasher... she was cute."

"My mum's bf hates when I shorten his name to 'Dick'. Mainly because his name is Matthew."

"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture."

"Sometimes my dog barks so loud she farts which coincidentally is also Donald Trump's foreign policy platform. (Also his domestic platform.)"

"""I guess I didn't get my birthday wish."" ""How do you know?"" ""You're still here!"""

"Recently in court, I was found guilty of being egotistical I am appealing (-Stewart Francis)"