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Joke of the Day

"Could you play us a song? Cat Stevens: Maybe. *Sets guitar on table* Cat Stevens: *Maintains eye contact-slowly pushes guitar off table*"

"You haven't Instagramed what you had for dinner yet? Please hurry up, the suspense is killing me."

"Why did the bicycle fall down? Because it was too tired"

"Jesus walks into an inn With a Cross and some nails. He says to the Innkeeper, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"I'm confused. Hi Confused. I'm a dad joke."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cole ! Cole who ? Cole as a cucumber !"

"What do you call a female Hitler? [This post has been deleted]"

"Two cows are standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, ""Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease?"" The other one looks at him and says, ""Good thing I'm a helicopter."""

"Q: What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? A: The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"Dating is hard because guys are like ""You're hot, can we do butt stuff yet?"" and girls are like ""It's been 3 days, where's my ring?"""