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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike... Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."

"A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. Unless it's diabetes medicine."

"Two guys walk into a bar.... And the 2nd guy goes, ""I didn't see it either."""

"Black joke Q. What do black guys have that's double the size of white men and gets bigger every time they touch a woman? A. Their criminal record"

"Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend"

"How do depressed people lighten' up? They drink bleach."

"Surprise your girlfriend by hiding in her trunk until you're dead."

"How do you know when it's time to get out of the porn industry? When they hire you a cunt-double."

"Why did the PI detective cross the road? He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns."

"Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I haven't paid $500 to have a garbanzo bean in my face."