116600

Joke of the Day

"What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup? ""Yum Yum."""

"As a married man, how excited I was that I almost has a successful Steak & BJ day... The steak was delicious, but I didn't get two of my ribs removed in time."

"Me: excuse me, but I can't taste the alcohol Clerk: all smoothies are non alcoholic here. Me: YOU SHOULDN'T CALL YOURSELF A BAR THEN!"

"This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby. When you wake up, you just know something bad happened."

"4/20. Always forget."

"Did you know you have the right to remain silent even when you're not being arrested?"

"I got athlete's foot... I don't even work out, so I was flattered."

"A guy walks into a bar... And says, ""Ow."""

"GOD: no work on the sabbath or I'll kill you ISRAEL [hasn't had a day off in 400 years]: awesome! GOD: what ISRAEL: we mean...oh no so hard"

"[phone rings] ""We've removed your son's missing picture from our milk cartons."" ""You found him?"" ""No, people stopped buying milk."""