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Joke of the Day

"Why DID David Cameron fuck a dead pig, anyway? The live ones wouldn't hold still."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from jail last night? Yeah, there's a small medium at large!"

"What do you call a Mexican that buys antiques in America? An American Spicker"

"What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!"

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A Quarter Pounder with cheese."

"What is worse than three babies in three containers? NSFW One baby in three containers."

"why was the mother buying christmas gifts for her son in august? because presents are less expensive than chemo.."

"Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish"

"Once I made the mistake of telling Jesus to take the wheel on a Sunday. Once."

"Why should've Christians chosen farts over bread? It's more fun to break wind"