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Joke of the Day

"I was driving earlier and a guy pulled out right in front of me... Those idiots could have caused a crash!"

"So..I just broke up with Jim. We were just not working out."

"I'm planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not."

"Q: What do you call a fish with three eyes? A: Fiiish."

"Forgetting to close my tab at the bar isn't as costly as forgetting to close tabs on my computer at home."

"Based on the rate of sagging pants, it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope."

"PERV IN THE LINGERIE STORE Q: Why did the perv go into Victoria's Secret? A: The panties were half off."

"My mailman got gender reassignment surgery. Now he's a post man"

"if you say ""pumpkin spice latte"" in the mirror 3 times a white girl in yoga pants will appear & tell you all her favorite things about fall."

"I can't listen to orchestral music anymore Too much sax and violins."