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Joke of the Day

"I masturbated when the clock struck 12 tonight It was the stroke of midnight"

"Mom, can I have another piece of pecan pie? ""You mean MAY, not CAN"" Ok, mom can I have another piece of pemay pie?"

"I moved into an advent calendar today... Its very cold, all the windows are open."

"A man asked Hitler "" Would you kill a jew for 8 pieces of gold? "" Hitler said : Nein."

"BOSS: You forgot my birthday didn't you? ME: *lighting candle* No what gave u that idea? BOSS: idk maybe that candle stuck in a urinal cake?"

"The janitor squints at the unfinished equation, picks up the chalk and scrawls methodically. Soon all the eights have top-hats like snowmen."

"I've recently obtained a book on the guidelines of masturbation So far, I've stuck to it."

"There was supposed to be a BLM march today with up to a million people Although it's strange that I only count 600,000."

"Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there."

"The unused coloring book. Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book? Her arms are amputated."