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Joke of the Day

"Ebola Plague The CDC has confirmed that the recent Ebola outbreak is now the second disease in history to be known as the ""black death""."

"I used to do drugs... I still do em, but I used to too. RIP Mitch Hedberg"

"A farmer filled his truck with onions, but he crashed on the interstate. All his onions were smushed and ruined. The farmer was on the brink of crying."

"So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?"

"If someone you know is stressed out, be sure to tell them they need to relax. You'd be surprised how many people hadn't thought of that."

"Engineering joke At work today I told an engineer I liked the cool shapes in his design. ""Oh, it's not intentional,"" he responded. ""It's mostly in compression."""

"I saw an ad on craigslist for a mama sheep, a ram, and a cat fetus all for sale for only five dollars. I said to myself, ""Ewe goat to-be kitten!"""

"Attention r/jokes Beginning January 20th, 2017, the real joke will no longer be found in the comments. It'll be found in the White House."

"Hey dad, wanna hear a dirty joke? [SFW] Me: Hey dad, wanna hear a dirty joke? Dad: No, do YOU wanna hear a dirty joke? Me: Sure... Dad: Four white horses fell in a mud puddle."

"Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch? Paddy O'Furniture!"