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Joke of the Day

"Jesus, his disciples, Adolf Hitler and a group of Schutzstaffel walk into an empty bar... The bartender says, ""Man, this is great for business!"""

"A man walks into an elevator and looks at the woman standing inside. He says, ""Can I smell your feet?"" She responds, ""Ew no"" ""Must be your pussy then."""

"If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though."

"Why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely? Question: ""why can't anybody satisfy a woman completely?"" answer: ""because nobody has a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash"""

"""The iPad is a bigger version of the iPod touch.""Yep, and my dick is a bigger version of urs.Think about that while I go do big dick things."

"I had a friend... ... who wanted to do a project about youth in Asia. Unfortunately, the government pulled the plug on it."

"I'm almost positive that angrily staring at the pile of dirty laundry won't fix things, but it's worth a shot."

"Q: How did the hermit pay for his home? A: Alone."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey we have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper responds, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"Nothing good has ever gone into a microwave at 3:00am."