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Joke of the Day

"With four days left until the end of the world... I should really try to get better at subtraction."

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"I wrote a song about cutting down trees. It's not a snappy tune, it just lumbers along."

"Whatever doesn't kill you TRIED TO KILL YOU!"

"What do orphans get at Christmas? Lonely."

"Don't trust an atom... They make up everything."

"What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground? A fruit by the foot"

"Do you want to hear a joke about ghosts? That's the spirit"

"I went to a AAA meeting today and a guy celebrated 21 years. That is some responsible vehicle ownership."

"Don't make fun of Terry If he kills you, you would die of dissin' Terry"