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Joke of the Day

"I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today.. On the front they say 'I would do anything for love' and on the back they say 'But I wont do that!'"

"Me: *falls off a ladder* Wife: OH MY GOD! ARE YOU INJURED? Me: *obviously concussed but also bleeding* I'm injured and outjured"

"How's your Mom's cherry pie taste? Meh.. It's Oedipal"

"6 things should be common in a Girl and Tea. Should be hot. should be strong. should be sweet. adequate milk. should be ready in 5 minutes. And lastly, won't let you sleep whole night :)"

"Why did the Chicken Cross The Road?"

"I think I invented some new Kama sutra moves trying to reach the remote without getting up."

"What do a good joke and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old."

"What did one candle say to the other? ""Don't birthdays burn you up?"""

"Just spilled red wine ALL OVER my insides."

"Marriage is like Thanksgiving dinner You can make it last, but it gets a little worse every day."