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Joke of the Day

"I was hanging out with some lesbians... Yes, I do have a penis. But don't worry, I won't hold it against you."

"What did the geologist say at the Chinese restaurant? May I have Eurasian plate?"

"I renewed my driver's license today and was asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I declined but did offer to give them my old harmonica."

"Where is the best place to eat on a leap day? IHOP"

"Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids? He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches"

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck his dick."

"The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now... But everything around it is Chile."

"I got busted visiting Texas. For trying to smuggle in books. Luckily, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books."

"Why do straight white girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even Like. Omg."