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Joke of the Day

"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" Apparently it wasn't the best way to try to convince my girlfriend to get an abortion."

"Replace his deodorant with a glue stick so he thinks of you every time he tries to raise his arm to put around the shoulders of another girl"

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"what's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I am the best juggler in the world. But I don't have the balls to show it to you."

"When your friends start with the Dead Baby jokes, hit them with this (NSFW): How do you blend a baby? Feet first so you can cum in its mouth as it screams."

"My doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and ADHD. Which means I hear voices but not for long enough to drive me insane."

"I just found that there's such a thing as a cheese shop and now I'm changing my vacation plans."

"What's the difference between a normal pirate and a sexy pirate? The type of booty they plunder."

"I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND FIND YOU and cuddle you softly."