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Joke of the Day

"Me: Honey, I left work early to pick up the kids! Wife: But we d.. *I arrive into the kitchen with two small goats Meet Frank and Dolores"

"There are 2 black men in a car, who is driving? The cops"

"My dog won't stop playing the piano I guess you can say she... Won't stop Bach-ing"

"[Bunch of 6 year olds knock on my door] ""TRICK OR TREAT!"" You kids are in for a real treat... *slips each of them a copy of my demo tape*"

"Girl, are you an umbrella? Because you're never with me when I need you & I've forgotten you at a restaurant 4 or 5 times."

"Did you hear about the circumcision Rabbi's wallet? When you rub it for a few minutes, it becomes a suitcase."

"""Bye, losers."" *puts on motorcycle helmet and sunglasses* *rides unicycle into an elevator* ""Can you push the button for the lobby please."""

"Tornadoes and marriage are alike, because they both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house."

"Why is Perfume so cheap? Because its only worth one scent!"

"Why did (do?) cavemen drag their women by the hair? if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud."