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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers? Russell."
Next Joke
"Tiger is wearing a summery pink top with black trousers during his opening round at The Open. He's so getting laid tonight"
"Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops? It makes you look hard"
"How many Dave Matthews fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? There are Dave Matthews fans?"
"Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it's true what they say about not knowing what you've got until you've sold it to a gypsy."
"A man put a sail on his bike... He was gone with the Schwinn."
"Guy asks his friend: ""I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?"" Friend: ""Did you just assume my bender?!"""
"Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us"
"""How do you find anything in here?!"" -my mugger, giving my purse back"
"Remember being a kid and writing ""FiretrUCK"" everywhere, thinking your parents wouldn't get it? My dad just figured it out and spanked me :("