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Joke of the Day

"How much did the obese man know about fitness? Diddly squat"

"What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels"

"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from? Father replied, ""Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."""

"As far as I can tell, the only thing ghosts do is set up obstacle courses when I have to get up in the middle of the night to pee"

"Care less and you'll stress less."

"The other day, a clown held the door open for me. It was a nice jester."

"Sarah, i understand that you are a feminist... ...but you can't end your prayer with ""awomen"" instead of ""amen"" credits to an anonymous facebook post of which i was too lazy to read the name"

"Friend: You're going to be an usher at our wedding. Is that okay? Me: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah."

"Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments."

"My son decided to help me clean the car today. After ten minutes of watching him, I told him to use some elbow grease. Two hours later, the idiot came back and told me that he couldn't find it."