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Joke of the Day

"Confucius say, ""woman with dress up run faster than man with pants down."" It's true. Do the math."

"hmmm public speakimg clases..? well do u hav private speakimg clases? bc i hav a secret *leans in close to u* I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO WHISPER"

"Where did Suzie go after the bombing? Everywhere"

"Why is it that when a guy nails a ton of girls, he's called a stud... ...but when he nails a ton of studs, he's in construction?"

"What are some good ""hate on America"" jokes from other countries? Try your best to offend me! I want something to make me go fuck, that was good."

"I hate toilet seats... They're all assholes."

"I like my beers like I like my lumber; 2 by 4:00"

"Your momma so dumb she drove around looking for the App Store"

"a lion stalks a fawn a man steps out from behind tree I'm Chris Hansen from NBCs to catch a predator, do u know how old that deer is?"

"The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound."