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Joke of the Day

"Who is Monica Lewinsky's Favorite NFL Football Player? Clinton-Dix"

"{Date} ME: I have to warn you, I'm the jealous type WAITER: What would you folks like? HER: I'll have the s- ME: WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?!?"

"I just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my room, using my phone as a flashlight..."

"""Sookie!"" -70% of True Blood dialogue"

"What is Mary and Joesph's Favorite Snack? Jeez-its"

"I hate it when homeless people shake their change cups at me. I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it."

"If you #Calexit-ers think you hate Trump NOW... Just wait until you have to foot the bill for the Californian extension of The Wall."

"What is the best contraceptive for old people? Nudity"

"Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders. How I learned this rule is not important."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about $1.79, and deer nuts are right under a buck."