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Joke of the Day
"What kind of cheese do rich people eat? Guccheese."
Next Joke
"My SO told me that I should stop pretending to be a flamingo I had to put my foot down"
"""Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom"" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth"
"I wear a 3-piece suit to bed in case someone breaks in & we have nothing to talk about. ""Did you notice I'm wearing a suit?"" ""Yes"""
"What do you call a murder in the middle east? A hummus-cide"
"So I've been hearing a lot about this Baader-Meinhof phenomenon recently [baader-meinhof phenomenon](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baader-Meinhof_phenomenon#Frequency_illusion)"
"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff."
"Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn."
"Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven"
"Relationship status: My neighbour/girlfriend was kidnapped but she's ok now, I was caught."