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Joke of the Day
"What do a pizza and this joke have in common? They're both cheesy."
Next Joke
"Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register."
"When I'm in a bathroom stall, please don't yell ""Oh my God oh my God there's a guy in here!"" Respect my privacy."
"I told my girlfriend that brown rice was just white rice with a criminal record... ...she called me a riceist"
"I was at the ATM when an old lady came up to me and asked to check her balance... So I pushed her over."
"Why does Trump love babies. Because one day when they are old enough, he'll either Fire em or Fuck em."
"It is amazing how many problems you can solve by ignoring them."
"I signed up for some Meteorology courses. MET 104 Standing in Deep Water MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain MET 106 Acting Amazed"
"ME [8:49PM]: on my way, taking a crab GF [8:50PM]: u mean a cab ME [8:52PM]: not exactly. be there in several days"
"What do French stoners smoke? Oui-d"