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Joke of the Day

"I just realized the reason old people seem so angry is because we've ruined everything."

"What is the summit of trust? Receiving a blowjob from a cannibal"

"I don't understand why ISIS is such a big deal. All we have to do is parachute in Chuck Norris, and within a month they will all be dead... It can't be done faster since he fights with his bare hands."

"My wife said to me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" I said: ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."""

"I like my women like I like my cider... ... cold and dry ;)"

"My father always said to me ""son it's always best to fight fire with fire""... and that is probably why he was kicked out of the fire service"

"I have a car! I had a car, Untill i woke up"

"Your loud tweeting woke me up. Someone must have typed in all caps."

"What do you call a Amish man with his arm up a horses arse A mechanic"

"What do you call a privileged post office? Cis White Mail"