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Joke of the Day

"I'm sure it's just a coincidence that pop music has gotten shittier since we started picking our artists on game shows."

" Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year."

"What do you call it when a criminal goes down an elevator? A con descending."

"Why do black people play basketball? Because it teaches them how to shoot, run and steal."

"[Walks up to stranger] Me: ""Excuse me, would you take my picture?"" Him: ""Sure."" Me: ""Great!"" [I hand him a beautiful 5x7 portrait of me]"

"A cop pulls an illegal immigrant over near the US-Mexico border and asks ""Papers?"" The immigrant responds ""Scissors"" and drives away"

"Always be sure to pay the Priest who performs the exorcism on your property. Or they'll come back and re-possess your house."

"What's black and white and red allover? My dalmatian after being hit by a car"

"What has ten letters and starts with gas? ""flatulence"""

"What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon ? A bird who knocks before delivering its message !"